Day Ten: Community

Word of the Day: Community

Image of the Day: Another Place - Antony Gormley's installation of iron men at Crosby Beach just north of Liverpool

Token of the Day: "Paper Bag Princess"

Gail wrote: standing firm as the tide of life and experience washes in and over you each day...remaining, standing tall, grounded.

The men stand proud, some high up on the beach, some waist-deep in water. As the tide comes in they are gradually submerged but are revealed again as the tide ebbs away. A wonderful analogy for the reality of community: some members are out there in the thick of it, on the front line but can quickly drown under the weight of events, others are more remote, on the margins. They can resist getting too involved too soon but can also be too wary of getting involved at all, standing aloof, high and dry.

The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch is a fantastic story - one of the many kids' books that should be read by all adults! For me it is about how having one's whole life-map not just sketched but printed in black and white can often go awry. Tragedy, disaster, a crisis happens, a cross-roads is encountered and suddenly one has to change or become extinct (do read Who Moved the Cheese? by Spencer Johnson to learn more about change!). If one is able to see it a new path will unfold. Old ideas might still get in the way, we are tempted to borrow from old habits when things get difficult but then we have a moment of clarity, realisation dawns and we can choose another way forward. Ronald wants Elizabeth to look a certain way in order to be his bride. Elizabeth realises that this is utter nonsense. If he really cared for her, if he had any sense, he would appreciate the fact that she has rescued him and would love her no matter whether she was wearing a paper bag or a silk gown! Read it and get back to me!

So, community... We are designed as human beings to be in community with one another. And yet living in community is a struggle! Whether one's blood relatives or one's chosen family there are always tensions and most often they are about the small stuff rather than the important things. We have to be intentional in our community living, authentic, plain-spoken and taking the risk of hurting feelings in order to facilitate growth. A functioning community talks often, can hold silence comfortably, laughs and cries together and has a shared vision.

In a time when traditional religious communities are struggling to keep going other alternative community set-ups are thriving. Around the World in Eighty Faiths explored a community in Italy called Damanhur (http://www.damanhur.org/). Its philosophy is based on the belief that a small spiritual people that shares dreams and ideals can achieve extraordinary things if it directs its own thought with purity and optimism. The story of Damanhur itself is a demonstration of this principle and every Damanhurian is committed to always thinking positively about the future, other people and themselves. Another founding principle of Damanhurian philosophy is openness to change. With every new step on the path, new horizons can be discovered that were unimaginable a moment before. As a result, Damanhur is a society in continual transformation, based upon the exaltation of differences and with a political and philosophical system in continual growth and evolution.

Other communities that have developed over time, been sustainable, creative and positive forces for change in the world include the Taize community in France, the L'Arche community which started in France and now has houses in a number of countries around the world and the Iona Community here in Scotland. They have all had moments of conflict, of upset and even of violence (Brother Roger, the founding brother of Taize was killed by a mentally deranged woman during prayer at the community) but they have seen the bigger picture, kept their souls focussed on being, growing and changing, and thus are still thriving today.

I have considered living in community over the years, now i am working on my life being intentionally communal. I am only at the beginning of this journey but the Buddhist principles of non-attachment are very relevant and i am trying to learn by reading and listening to Pema Chodron (do look her up!), identifying problems as they arise and seeking to deal directly, plainly and honestly with those around me. My personality and past experiences lead me to be secretive, to feel afraid of speaking out, and to want to run and hide. I have to find a balance between saying and showing nothing and wearing my heart, lungs, kidneys and liver on my sleeve all the time!

Do we belong to communities? Or do we belong in communities? Are we sharing something or being given a card, a badge that identifies us as members? I do like to belong and yet i wish to maintain my independence... I need to feel safe, to feel that i belong to myself first and foremost and i also need to share, to be supported by, to give aid to those around me.

Community etymology: Middle English communite, citizenry, from Old French, from Latin commūnitās, fellowship, from commūnis, common.

Community requires a unity of will (Ferdinand Tönnies). If there is community then both freedom and security can exist as well. The community then takes on a life of its own - we become free enough to share and secure enough to get along.

In a seminal 1986 study, McMillan and Chavis identified four elements of sense of community: membership, influence, integration and fulfillment of needs, and shared emotional connection.

Community

desired or feared

togetherness or isolation

sharing or hiding

plain speaking or keeping the peace.

Community

constant flux

ebb and flow

held in tension

high and low tides

Commune with me

we have much in common

Come be with me

let us be transformed.